Surely you have heard about the Milgram experiment (if you didn’t hear about it, read it). During this experiment, it turned out that people are much more conformal creatures than is commonly thought. In situations of vague anxiety, when it is not completely clear what is happening, the vast majority act relying on an authoritative instance.

The test subjects were given a task involving inflicting pain on another person, and despite clear signs of suffering on their part, 65 percent of the test subjects continued to commit violent acts when the experiment leaders told them that everything was was going as it should. The rest of the test subjects also went far enough, but stopped at some point. And only about 12 percent of people abandoned the task at the first sign of another person suffering (I wonder how many of them were women?).

However, if a second “participant”, who refuses to complete the task in front of the experimental subjects is introduced into the experiment, then people will behave completely differently. Only 10 (!) percent followed the lead and, in spite of everything, caused pain. 65 and 10 percent is a huge difference, and it clearly demonstrates how important it is for us to have an example of resistance next to us. After all, obviously, many participants would like to refuse to complete the task, but remaining alone with the leadership they did not do this because they lacked the courage and confidence in their actions. But as soon as they set an example that it is possible to go against an authoritative figure, they immediately followed this example with relief, realizing that something is actually wrong.

Exactly the same thing happens to women in a patriarchal society. They use gaslighting against us, convincing us that there is no sexism, that jokes about rape are just humor, that gender-based insults (with the letter “s”) do not apply to us, they are for some other "bad" women, that it's okay to judge other women for the way they look, their age, etc. If everyone around laughs at sexist insults, then what kind of reaction can you expect from each individual girl? A vague feeling of depression, shame, a search for a problem in oneself ("Something is wrong with me, since I'm not funny? Maybe I'm too dull?"). However, everything changes if there is a brave girl who expresses indignation at this joke and says that this is actually not funny and is rather offensive for all girls. Our heroine immediately understands that her dissatisfaction is justified, and the problem is not in her, but in the environment, and redirects her efforts.

Therefore, even by carefully expressing your dissatisfaction (in a company, at a lecture, in comments), you help other women legitimize their own discontent, realize it and understand where it comes from. They may remain silent, so you won't know how grateful they are to you for not being afraid to speak up. And most importantly, in this way you feed the seed of doubt that is already growing inside them. And someday it will definitely bear fruit.

P.S. During the experiment, real people did not suffer, the suffering was staged.


Author: Philosopher's Stone of Artémis
Translator: Yulia N.